WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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