The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
