i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
