Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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