Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
false alarm. still invincible.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
