dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
