Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
