Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
