i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
