Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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