A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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