Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
