you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize