I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
