he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Alive.
So much puke
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
