We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
