No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
