ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
