we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
