Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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