"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
