i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize