If i come over, it means nothing
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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