allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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