This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
