Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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