At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
