Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
