I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
