Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize