She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
