Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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