So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize