so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
