just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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