I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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