If i come over, it means nothing
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
