I smell stomach acid.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
