i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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