Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
