Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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