I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
