no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I look better un-naked...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
