Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
