...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
