Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just high enough for therapy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
