I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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