from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just want to make out with him forever
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
