Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
