I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
