I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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