she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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