Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
