Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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