it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
