she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
