And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize